Purpose Driven Life and My Life

I'm starting to read Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, I've been feeling a little lot recently. Although I still go to church and do my thing. I'm not a bad person but I don't really know what's going on with myself and my life.

I go to church and say my prayers. I do try to be a good person. But this time I just got caught in this mess in the office.

What happened was a friend of mine helped me to get hired here. I owe her a lot, but even she thinks that I got in by my own merits, all she really did was hand over my resume. I still think though that somehow by doing that she let a little of her credibility rubb off on me, and this helped me to get hired.

Right now though the department I'm in, the entire division I'm in, doesn't really like her as a person, whereas I have the highest regard for her. Unfortunately though people talk and in the process such rumors have hurt her.

I got dragged in there just for being part of the team. I felt really down when she got upset. I was really sad that this had to happen. I apologized to her, not because I had any part in those rumors, but because I didn't do anything.

My personality is really to just ignore the unpleasant. That's what I did when I heard what was said about her. I didn't believe a word of it and so I just let it pass out my other ear and withdrew from what I thought was a futile & stupid conversation.

In this case though, non-participation was not enough. The rumors ended up sounding like it came from the group when I did not take part of it. She felt really bad and even said she was disappointed - I figured I was part of the disappointment as well.

I went to her at first not knowing what in the world was going on, just that she was giving me this "I-don't-like-you" vibe and then that was how I found out about the above incidences.

I apologized profusely and even feel bad to this day. I have a feeling I probably couldn't mend her image of me and that's really sad but I do hope she forgives me. For some reason though I pray that the opportunity won't have to rise that I have to defend her, that people will just keep their mouth shut and let her be. It's tough being brave. I do hope God will give me the courage when the time comes.

I think it's all a big misunderstanding. The people I'm with aren't bad people, sometimes gossip just gets twisted as it is passed around.